If Farming Were Like Agricola

Farming is no easy task... especially in Agricola.

Wolfgang and Hilde are newlyweds who have struck out on their own. They've decided to begin an exciting life of... farming. 

"Oh, Wolfgang, what a fine day it is! We have finally bought our own farm! I can't wait to watch it prosper and to raise a family here!" 

"Oh, Hilde, I promise that you will be proud of what our farm has become seven years from now!" 

"Seven years? Let's get going ​now. So... what do we do this season?"

"Let's keep it simple. I will do one thing, and you will do one thing, and then we'll come back and start that process all over again." 

"But we need to plow, plant, get some animals, and upgrade our house!" 

"Hilde, Hilde, take it slow—like I said, one thing at a time." 

"Fine, you plow, and I'll go get some wood to build fences for the animal pens." 

"You might want to wait on the wood. There are only two pieces available right now. You can't make an animal pen with that." 

"Well go chop some more wood, then, manly man!" 

"That's not how it works, honey. I might be able to get a part-time job as a woodcutter, but I'd have to spend this whole season just getting the job. Why don't you go and get some wheat and we'll plant it next season?" 

A few hours later...

"Dammit Wolfgang! Somebody else already took the wheat! And there will be no more until next season! How are we supposed to feed ourselves this winter?" 

"I'm still plowing here, Hilde. Why don't you go and be a day laborer or something? That will get us some food."

"At the rate you're going, you will NEVER finish plowing that field. Can't we get an ox to help you?"

"Hilde, the only animal you can buy right now is a sheep. Cattle won't be available for several years."

"What the... Wolfgang, I have no idea how you expect to make this farm a success."

"My dear, look on the bright side! We have a lot more opportunities to get things done this year than we normally do. Next year our schedule will be even tighter!" 

"I have married an idiot. Was I seriously considering having your children?" 

"Well, darling, you'll have to worry about that another year. Family expansion isn't even an option yet. And when it is, you'd better hope one of the neighbors doesn't get there first, because it's not like we can procreate in our own house. Who even does ​that?" 

"#$@#&%&*!!" 

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